Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
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