yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
