Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
