I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize