If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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