She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
