We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Randomize
