..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
