Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
two words: eviction party
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
