I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
