oh god the rape fog is back!
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
