He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
