The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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