sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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