white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize
