belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Randomize
