If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
