Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
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