I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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