On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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