Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
