I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
