Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
This house was built for laser tag.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
