I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize