Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
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