escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
He has the fingertips of a God
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
