I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
