Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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