You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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