you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
