Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
