You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
