First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
