they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
