i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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