he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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