You can't motorboat a personality
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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