well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize