Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Randomize