he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
