I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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