If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
not ubering you a puppy
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
