god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
God gave him joint rollers for hands
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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