just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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