don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
