I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
My vagina just recognized that song.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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