It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Randomize
