Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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