Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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