the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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