she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Shame - the story of my life.
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