Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I CAN MOONWALK!
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
