I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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