carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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