i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
