Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize