He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I have aggressive nipples.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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