um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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