don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
