just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
