It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
