just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
