Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm sobbing to NWA
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Damn victory sex feels great
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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