david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
